Generally for the most part of the world, there exists a time where something left us in our childhood, leaving us feeling internally incomplete. Whatever it was that we trusted to be apart of our being at that time, feels like it can never be trusted again now, but the determination to find it again still fuels us to keep searching. We go on about feeling like half of a puzzle on an adventure to find the missing pieces. But the feeling itself, what it was like before something went missing, it will never be as recognizable as it was, for time slowly decays the memory and eats away the pain, rendering the feeling hidden under an opaque window. Beneath, it is the sweet treasure we all seek to reattain, and is the soul reason why we struggle to find something, anything, that may seem like it was once apart of us. The treasure map gets wrinkled and barely readable if not well kept, and some maps even go missing – those lucky people have to resort to trial and error. Strangely enough, we are all seeking something, something we feel is lacking of us, that belongs here, and yet within the worldwide search only a few find it. You would think that with nearly everyone it wasn’t something lacking inside, but rather splitting, and that was the discomfort we felt. The pain, which can umbrella feelings of: neglect, pressure, ignorance, abandonment, stress, disloyalty, disappointment, overwhelm, pity, anger, fear, or anxiety. Pain is all in the mind. And the mind can do many things, far beyond even our explainable comprehensions; the mind controls you, however many individuals tend to challenge that and believe.

Rather than actually missing a part of ourselves, who probably just got up and were itching to feel something , we should observe consciously of the environment and surrounding supervisors. You see, my theory is that as an emotional human being, just maybe one point in time during a crucial age an unmanageable pain was too overwhelming and being unable to endure it at the time, chose to disconnect. It probably wouldn’t make sense anyway at time, for pain like any memory can only be fully recognized after, once all the emotions are gather and identified. Because no one really knows the emotions that happen during, only after the events, then can we recollect the feeling we truly had at that time.

After the disconnection, which can be self made, made by significant other, or both – after, a self identifying feeling that we once used to relate with the world and ourselves, is in discordance, and by the time we’ve become ready to face it, the feeling fades away – lost. It is then, does one start to distinguish him/herself from the rest of the world as individuals, which inevitably leads to insecurities, for the deeply seeded betrayal will mark the first lesson in trust: you can’t trust anyone. This step of individualization- or rather – separation from the once known as whole bodied world, it leaves a space vacant for adjacent emotions like: fear, sadness, guilt, blame, anger, distrust, etc. So what happens after that? Once we realize how hollow and incomplete we feel without those missing pieces, the search starts using the replacing adjacent emotions, which often leads to many mistakes and lessons learned. From there, gradually the missing pieces start to fit in as we slowly start to regain a sense of that completeness, which can only happen once we recognize that the replacement emotions are self created protective barriers from the disconnected and nonsensical pain at the time.

Two people can form a relationships to help complete each other, and fill in the two halves. But this is a selfish relationship, probably prone to many disputes, as both partners look in each other for a part of themselves, meaning almost treating each other as possessions belonging to each other only. It is not because they love each other – but because they feel love. But only on occasion does that sort of relationship even stay, for most of the time we are seeking what we lack, and sometimes expectations can be too high, especially if it is one sided and the other partner is not capable of sustaining own wellbeing along with a lover. The most successful attempt would include an already actualized partner, and an incomplete one. The partner who feels whole then has enough love and care to share, because there is no need to feel constantly loved or secured. The last sort of attempt to find that filler, is in the relationship with materials. Money.

So where is the treasure chest? Well it’s not lost, it’s never completely lost so long as we have some part of ourselves from when we felt like one. It’s within, in the chest. The map will lead to no where but to many new experiences, where lessons can be learned. Nothing ever abandoned us. It was merely undeveloped thinking that easily gave up the sense of oneness. By acknowledging the world as a whole, that he is he, and you and he, and I am you as you are he, and we are all together, you will never feel lonely and treat everyone as yourself. Like parent for example, getting mad and shouting at them is like hurting yourself, you hurt them, in turn hurting yourself, as you are most like your parents, and are still hurting yourself even if it is indirectly.

So What?

This is a story from a book: A beggar sitting on the side of the road for thirty years. One day a stranger walked by. “Spare some change?” mumbled the beggar, mechanically he took out his old baseball cap. “I have nothing to give you,” said the stranger. Then he asked: “What’s that you are sitting on?” “Nothing.” replied the beggar. “Just an old box. I have been sitting on it for as long as I can remember.” “Ever looked inside?” asked the stranger. “No” said the beggar. “What’s the point? There’s nothing in there.” “Have a look inside insisted the stranger. The beggar managed to pry open the lid. With astonishment, disbelief, and elation, he saw that the box was filled with gold.